


Lost Boy

by KusanoSaku



Series: Bonds and Ties [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Colin, Dean proves he still cares about Seamus even if he's been a jerk, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Protective Neville, Seamus gets chewed out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KusanoSaku/pseuds/KusanoSaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the second lowest point in their lives Seamus and Colin look into a possible future without the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> A one-shot in the bonds and ties universe. Based on a 5SOS song...

# Without you I’m a lost boy

 

Seamus woke to a cold bed…

 

He was stunned, after months of sleeping beside Colin it was startling….

_I’ve sat in silence, living in a world of noise_

 

Seamus remembered his isolation since Dean broke their friendship after the Yule Ball, how utterly alone he felt …

 

_Is anybody there who can rescue_

_Somebody like me 'cos I'm just waiting_

_For somebody like you, somebody like you_

_Without you I’m a lost boy_

 

His heart was heavy and he felt even more alone now…

 

XooooooX

_I can't remember the last time I heard your voice_

_I've sat in silence, living in a world of noise_

_'Cause you were perfection_

 

Colin felt more alone then ever…

 

His dad was gone, so was Dennis…

 

Both died in the train explosion that was not an accident that the media tried to portray it as.

 

His babies were even gone; they were placed in a womb of someone else…

 

With Seamus emotionally withdrawn from him, Colin had no one left to call family…

 

He wrapped his arms around himself, rocking with his eyes closed…

 

XooooooX

 

_I can't remember the last time I heard your voice_

_I've sat in silence, living in a world of noise_

_'Cause you were perfection_

 

Dean was more aware after hearing what his letter to Seamus had done to his former friend’s budding relationship.

 

Not only had he stolen Seamus’ virginity and broken his heart, he’d abandoned him as a friend because he refused to be gay. He had been very immature emotionally and mentally at barely fifteen.

 

Eventually he’d learned that not only was it acceptable to be bent but Pavarti’s own twin sister Padma was…

 

He’d had to learn to see through new lenses, putting aside the viewpoints of his childhood due to his catholic mother and see things in the morals of the Wizarding World instead.

 

Cause I've been from place to place trying to win you back  
I've walked for days and days 'cause I can't face the fact  
That nothing is better than you

  
While he’d never really been attracted to another boy since Seamus, Dean still had an affection for his former friend. There was a hole in his heart that Terry Bott, Anthony Goldstein, Micheal and Stephen Corner hadn’t filled.

 

He couldn’t let Seamus turn into the anti-social turtle that he’d become after his abandonment, especially when he knew that Colin was one of the few reasons that Seamus had started to recover from the loss of his entire family.

 

He didn’t love Seamus romantically, he never had. In retrospect his attraction was all sexual…

 

He wanted to try make things right between them but he hadn’t wanted to emotionally devastate Seamus again.

 

Dean flooed to Marcheness knowing he was uninvited and he didn’t care.

 

_I'm coming because I need to find you_

 

He was surprised to be met by Hermione Granger…

“Dean? Why are you here?”

 

“I’m going to talk to Seamus. Which room is his?”

 

Hermione blushed, “I’ll take you to Seamus, he really can’t stand me and I understand that. He hasn’t left his room according to the house elves…”  
  
Dean scowled, “He’s turtling again. That’s not alright…”

 

Hermione led him up to the family wing and pointed out the room that Seamus had been sharing since she’d been brought there…

 

XooooooX

 

_Is anybody there who can rescue_

_Somebody like me 'cos I'm just waiting_

_For somebody like you, somebody like you_

_Without you I’m a lost boy_

 

Seamus was startled when someone threw open the door into his bedroom.

 

“Seamus I can’t let you do this! I am sorry my letter spawned this reaction in you. I didn’t mean to open up old wounds. I was wrong to break our friendship over something so trivial and ridiculous as being afraid of being gay. You deserved better treatment from your purported best friend, as your former friend I won’t let you throw away some who loves you. Colin loves you, he married you didn’t he? You’re expecting children together and I want to see you happy, that’s all I ever wanted because I couldn’t do that for you.” Dean’s familiar voice filled the room even as his former friend snapped.

 

Seamus cringed, “Why are you here?”

 

“Because I know you didn’t read my letter…you let your fear and pain damage your new relationship. I can’t let you cause Colin anymore pain; he’s lost your babies and his family, does he deserve to lose his husband because of pain I caused when I was fifteen and stupid? Come on Seamus, are you really going to throw away your chance at happiness because of a lost love that can’t come back?” Dean thundered.

 

Seamus whispered, “Why did you abandon me?”

 

“Because I couldn’t love you the way you wanted.” Dean admitted reluctantly. “I hoped, I think, was that if we had a clean break that you could give up on loving me that way. Apparently you didn’t let go as much as I had hoped, if a letter from me was able to cause that much damage to your new relationship. Now get up out of this bed and go talk to Colin. Fix this…”

 

Seamus frowned, “Why do you care so much?”

 

Dean sighed, “For the sake of our old friendship, I want to make sure you’re happy. You deserve it; after all since the train accident left you and Colin alone. Would you take away his children and his lover or do you love him too much?”

 

Seamus didn’t bother dressing or bathing as he hurried out of his rooms and even that wing to make his way to the main floo room…

 

XooooooX

 

Neville was surprised when Seamus tumbled through his office floo.

 

His patient had a blotchy face, red-rimmed eyes and a panicked face.

 

Neville frowned, “Seamus? Why are you here?”

 

“Where is Colin? He said something about coming here…I think…I wasn’t really paying attention….” Seamus stammered.

 

Neville scowled, “Why should I tell you? I thought you two were good for him and then you abandoned him to wallow in self-pity. Why did you never deal with your abandonment issues? If you’d just talked to me about Dean when I asked this wouldn’t have happened.”

 

Seamus held up a hand, “I have no time, I want to take Colin home.”

 

Neville snorted, “Who says he wants to return? I don’t think he’d call Marcheness home right now.”

 

Seamus flinched, “I understand that but Marcheness isn’t home without him. It’s a shame that your lecture didn’t get through or his crying at me. My ex-best friend showed up and verbally kicked my arse. Turns out the arsehole dumped me because he couldn’t love me. Told me I’d be an even bigger fool if I didn’t make things right with Colin. Hate to admit the bastard is right. Granted after what I’ve done I don’t deserve Colin, if I ever did. We’ll need help getting past this and I do need to hash the whole Dean situation out. I never dealt with it, I just shoved it and my broken heart in the deepest dungeon imaginable and threw myself in my studies. What do I have now? A broken family, an empty house and a surrogate I still want to throttle…”

 

“You really sound like you’ve got your shite together…” Neville drawled.

 

Seamus growled, “How would you react if you were in my place begging to see Adrian after a misunderstanding?”

 

“Don’t compare your damaged relationship to mine.” Neville retorted.

 

“If someone decided to keep you from Adrian for Adrian’s own good wouldn’t you beg, plead and grovel to see him? To at least give Adrian the choice to see you?” Seamus pouted.

 

Neville flinched, “Point taken. You wait here. I’ll ask Colin if he wants to see you…”

 

Seamus deflated, “That’s the best I can ask for…”

 

Neville rose and strode out of his home office stiffly, hoping this was the right choice…

 

XooooooX

 

Is anybody there who can rescue  
Somebody like me 'cos I'm just waiting

  
Colin was buried in the bed offered by Neville.

 

He was suffocating…

 

He felt as alone and lost as when he woke up from the train accident mute and paralysed.

 

Seamus was gone…

 

Had Seamus ever really loved him? Was he always only a replacement?

 

Sure he knew Dean and he vaguely remembered that they used to be friends until after the Yule Ball when Seamus and Dean seemed to go separate ways.

 

Colin was sort of hang on friend, not closer then Draco of course but he always thought of himself as Harry’s friend sort of like Luna was…

 

His heart was still crying if his eyes were no longer capable of crying…

 

Come find me I'm a lost boy  
'Cause without you I'm a lost boy

  
There was a knock on the door…

 

Colin called out in a voice scratchy from too much sobbing, “Don’t want anything…”

 

The door opened anyway.

 

“Someone’s here to see you…”  


“Don’t care. Don’t want to see anyone…” Colin muttered into his musty pillow.

 

“Even if it’s an apologetic Seamus?” Neville’s voice held a frown.

 

Colin bolted up, “Seamus is here? Why?”

 

Neville shrugged, “Said he wanted to bring you home…”

 

Colin’s heart pounded, “Home? He still wants me?”

 

“Was begging me to let him see you. When I wouldn’t he asked me how I would feel if someone tried to keep Adrian from me for Adrian’s own good. Smart bastard. I finally agreed to give you the choice to see him. As much as I’d like to keep her from him for your own well-being I’d be a poor mind healer if I didn’t let you make the choice to go back to your family yourself.”

 

Colin stumbled out of bed, proving that like Seamus he hadn’t bathed either.

 

XooooooX

 

As a healer, even if it was a mind healer it was a bit disturbing that his patients had let their personal hygiene fall to this level...

 

Unless that was a result of having Andromeda who was a neat freak as a godmother and Augusta who was perfectionist for a grandmother…

 

Neville reluctantly escorted Colin, offering him a steadying arm but after he hexed away his sense of smell so the scent of stale body odour wouldn’t upset his pregnant stomach…

 

It got queasy over the strangest things even his favourite of Adrian’s colognes.

 

No sooner had they reached his office then Seamus turned and held open his arms.

 

Colin limped into them having left his cane at Marcheness…

 

Seamus kissed his dirty blonde hair and held him tightly.

 

“I’m so sorry. You deserved so much better. I couldn’t keep my bonding vows more then a few months. Please Colin give me another chance to prove I can keep them. I don’t want our kids to have broken parents…I’ll do anything you want…” Seamus whispered.

 

Colin broke down and sobbed in his arms. “You want me? You really still want me?”

 

Seamus rocked him, “I never didn’t…I never dealt with Dean’s abandonment…I just shoved it into a deep dark hole. His letter just brought it all back. I owed you better because I love you. Dean told me he let me go so I could find my real true love. He thinks that’s you. Please come home _mo shíorghrá…”_

 

Colin lifted a tear-streaked face to look up at Seamus, “What does that mean?”

 

Seamus lifted both of Colin’s hands to his lips, “My eternal love.”

 

Colin sniffed, “Take me home?”

 

Seamus picked up his lover and nodded at Neville, “Can you handle the floo powder for us?”

 

Neville was torn between be sickened by their lovey dovey scene of forgiveness and being pleased for them as their friend/confident, “I can see that you’re not lost anymore…”

 

Seamus shook his head, “Not as long as I have my _A ghrá geal as my polaris…”_

_Neville tossed in the powder and called out their destination._

_No sooner then they left he went to floo to St. Mungos, he had to see his fiancé._

_That nothing is better than you_

_I'm coming because I need to find you_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Outstanding? Exceeds expectations? Acceptable? Poor? Dreadful? Troll?


End file.
